Creeping Cynicism

I though that I found a cure for this doubt that lingers in my mind. And all my cynical past has to offer is a quiet "I told you so". Sometimes this sick world gets the best of me and its hard to believe in anything. It often times feels to me that all that anyone has to offer me is vain faith and false hope...

Sturgeon's Law: 95% of everything is crap.

None the less... that 5% does exist. And I refuse to let my self become a victim. That would be against everything I have ever stood for.

But good hell... the more you try to stand up straight it seems the stronger the forces to break you down pushes, and you start to feel that fear creep back up your spine.

Once you see the world as bullshit like it is, that 5% becomes so much more beautiful, and the blow is so much harder when you lose it.

These are the points in my life when I truly feel my knees start to buckle and my hands start to tremble. Not when you lose something that was broken but when you lose something that is strong and hasn't given into the bullshit.

So here we are left in a dilemma. A hatred for the bullshit, and a fear of the beautiful. Which leaves me with a creeping cynicism that I have been fighting for the last 2 years of my life.

Conclusion: Life is worth living, and the beautiful does exist but it can be difficult to find and when it is found it takes courage to reach out and grab it. We can either live in the bullshit because we fear truth, or we can live in the cynicism because we fear the beautiful or we can throw it all aside and try and live life.